Don’t feel sorry for me. The last thing I need is pity. Settle down. Simmer down. It’s getting harder everyday. Do you like what u see? Can u find the real her? Can u take it all in? Or will u run away? She finds it hard to breathe. She tries to get things going. She’s so tired of it all just like you all are.

Will that make u a happier person?

I feel stifled again. Claustrophobic by the overwhelming never ending issues. I’m getting weaker by the day. Physically drained. It’s consuming me at my worst. The pain is gnawing. Living a half-life they say. It comes and goes. My patience is wearing thin.
So I’m narcissistic. So I don’t show much attention, emotions or affections. I’m cold.
I’m just a living dead doll.

It takes a moment to be misled. It takes a moment to be taken in by your sweet words.
To be deceived. Pretty boys are heartbreakers. And there are those who are not so pretty yet are also deceitful. She hates liars! She hates his lack of guts. She hates the fact that she weighed them more despite what her true friends said or think. Why do the rest see ahead and are able to anticipate their future? Her buddy said you won’t last. Her other buddy said he was already involved. Her blood said not to go into it because they are not to be trusted. But she had to take that risk. She rebelled and plunged into an uncertain new leash of “hope” despite her lack of faith in men, despite whispering under her breath to herself; ”don’t fall for me”. She thought he could be a new breath of change to the otherwise cloudy, dark, somber world she lives in. But she couldn’t change. It’s too difficult to change an already difficult person. Maybe the star signs clash.
But she doesn’t regret taking that risk. There was no way to avoid that already designed crossing of paths. But she learnt a whole lot from it all. She’s all cleaned up now. No more experimental to wild discovery flings to laidback cautious phase. These 3 phases no doubt help her grow up. And I have My Fran Healy now. No more bitterness. No more sorrow for others but yourself.

So will you believe in me now?

Do you see us emo-gals as bitter, perpetually pissed off at the world, curse and swear under our breath, always wary and cautious of a new development of emotions, treading our paces ever so carefully while stifling our deepest heartfelt shout-outs and put on a fake smile that everything’s ok, otherwise you risk being called egoistic for stating your views? We are constantly constrained by our emotional debris. Or do you see us as powerless, resigned to fate, for whatever happens are all pre-destined that you cannot control but go along with it, whether you like it or not? Does that make us all hypocritical to ourselves then? We are at war with ourselves in the first place. And when we let others in, there will be chaos. No matter how much a ‘happier’ person we become with new people in our lives, we are still seen as shady, bogged down by our emo-side.
I dare you to run. I dare you to lift yourself off by the floor.